Indepth Article:
By Norah Fleming Indepth Writer 11/24/22 *Trigger Warning, this article has themes of abuse, sex, and suicide.
At eight years old, pulling braids meant he had a crush on you right? So does he still feel that way even if hair pulling has become hitting? When holding hands by the swing sets is now covering bruises with foundation, or when “Stinky” and “Stupid,” turns to “Skank” and “Slut,” does it still mean that you still have a great, Instagram-worthy boyfriend? According to the CDC, “ About 1 in 12 experienced physical dating violence” and “1 in 12 experienced sexual dating violence,” and LGBTQ+ teens are at a higher risk than those in a heterosexual relationship. High school is the beginning of adulthood, relationships, goals, dreams, and ideals. As high schoolers rush into homework and prepare for college, many forget that, high schoolers are not yet adults; still, from a young age, relationships are glorified. School may teach math and science, but it doesn’t teach you how to deal with abuse. Dating abuse is characterized by abusive tendencies in a relationship, according to the Doves Program, “It's a pattern of abusive behaviors that occur over a period of time.” This abuse can start off small, but left untreated it can grow to immense size. Dating abuse can start off with clinginess, multiple texts a day, or even within an hour. To an inexperienced teen, it may seem sweet, and the territoriality even might seem attractive. When your partner checking up on you turns to finding out who you are with and what you are doing every day multiple times a day, it could be the start of a controlling and manipulative relationship. Another common factor of dating abuse in high school, are hierarchies. Whether the hierarchy is social, gender related, or even economic, all of them can be seeds for dating abuse to grow. Getting into a relationship with that good-looking popular guy or girl can seem like a dream come true, but when feelings of insecurity fester thoughts like “I can’t do any better than him, so I should just stay” can invade minds and control decisions they linger, holding people back, restricting movements and tying them up in an unbreakable bond. Even with all the damage that can occur from it, abuse hides. It is like a spider building its web. At first, it is manageable, maybe not even noticeable, something that can be cleaned up every now and again, but over time, it becomes a messy nest, something scary, which feels impossible to try and clean up. The issue once brushed into the corner, multiplies and spreads. Suddenly, it takes over a room and eventually, someone’s life. Searching for abuse feels like a cobweb in a corner; it doesn’t seem like a big deal but sooner or later it grows. |
In an attempt to prevent abuse, looking for signs can feel impossible. Trying to find flaws in a relationship is scary and can become overwhelming. Noticing the red flags is necessary, putting a stop to it is the next step. Putting your own well being, whether that be physical, or emotional is the most important. If a relationship is abusive it isn’t bad to end it, a break-up could save a life and getting help or reaching out isn’t selfish.
Algebra may not teach you the equation to ending an abusive relationship, and there is no formula for fighting back, but you can stop it. Reaching out to local programs, trusted teachers, or even a friend, can prevent accidents or injuries to physical or mental well being. There is no excuse for abuse. No one has a right to affect anyone’s mental or physical health. Abuse can happen to anyone no matter what race, gender, or sexual orientation, and it is not the victim’s fault. If you or someone you know is struggling with dating abuse, reach out to anyone. SHS offers a tips hotline, or you can talk to a trusted teacher, counselor or therapist. Crisis-180 024 4567 TeenLink-206 461 4922 YouthAdvocates-206 322 7838 National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline-1 800 652 1999 Signs to look out for: It is unhealthy if one of you…
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